Sunday, February 20, 2011

What Are Your Baseball Predictions for This Year?

OK, it's mid-February, and that can only mean one thing.

For us long-suffering fans, still nursing our hangovers from Jets and Eagles playoff losses, and the Giants' flameout (depending on what part of NJ you live in), the only real cure is knowing that the Boys of Summer have reported to Spring Training and opening day of our National Pastime is just over a month away.

So, what are your predictions for the 2011 season?

No, I'm not asking who will win the World Series; everyone knows that will be the Fightin' Phils. What I'm asking is, what Phan misbehavior can we look forward to this year?

The 2010 season is a tough act to follow, with Vomit Guy (a/k/a "Pukemon"), Taser Kid, and Copy-cat Would-be Taser Guy (who never got tasered) leading the pack.

But, Pick's Place has high hopes for this season, so here are some predictions:

1.) On opening day, former catcher Darren Daulton attempts to deliver the game ball through out-of-the-body astral travel from his home in Florida, but arrives without the ball, which was lost in transit. Angry fans storm the field but fail to reach the virtual Dauton before he beams himself back to Florida.

2.) On the first Dollar Dog Day,  the game is delayed by rain. Former PA Governor Ed Rendell, scheduled to throw out the first pitch, calls the Phillies "a bunch of wussies" for rain-delaying the game. Once the tarp is removed and Fast Eddie takes to the mound, angry fans pelt him with dollar dogs.

3.) On "Cliff Lee Appreciation Day". the Phillies unwisely hand out Cliff Lee bobble-heads to fans on the way into the stadium. By the 7th inning, as Lee is being pounded by the Atlanta Braves, angry fans plaster the outfield with bobble-heads. The outfielders are forced to wear helmets.

4.) On a positive note, the Phillies give Christina Aguilera a second chance to get the National Anthem right.

What are YOUR predictions for this season?

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